If you know me, you know that I have little tolerance for negative people.I have learned through many life experiences that there are people out there who simply are M-I-S-E-R-A-B-L-E with their lives. These are the people that have the ability to suck the life right out of you. If you let them.
They can derail your dreams. Inhibit your progress. Make you as M-I-S-E-R-A-B-L-E as them. If you let them.
Lia Mack talks in her article "Removing Toxic People From Your Life" about some of the signs of these toxic types, and what you can do about them.
"There’s a lot of information out there about toxins and their lasting negative effects on our physical health. We all know about the detrimental effects of artificial preservatives, additives, pesticides, and the like. But what about the negative effect toxic people have on our heath?
Can encounters with toxic people effect our physical, mental, and emotional health? If so, how do we protect ourselves from further harm? Then again, we survivors always struggle with putting our own needs first…Is it selfish to remove toxic people from our life?
Before you answer that hard question, ask yourself one more: Could removing such people turn out to be life saving?
Emotionally toxic people can ravage us from the inside out. Yet, what exactly defines a toxic person depends on who you talk to. In my life, I’ve found toxic people are those who:
- take and never give in return
- constantly complain
- gossips
- puts others down
- makes others feel guilty
- can only criticize
Just as with toxins in our food and environment, to keep ourselves safe, toxic people need to be avoided whenever possible.
On my blog, I’ve shared what works for me to keep myself, my sanity, safe whenever I’m in the presence of a toxic person. Since then, I’ve shared it countless times and helped others remove toxins from their lives too. So, below, I’ve shared them again, with you.
Be forewarned, though. Some of these tips are going to be hard to swallow at first. But try them out for yourself anyway. See what works for you. So far, following these guidelines has helped me not only be toxic people free, but also stress free. What a life saver…
- Walk Away
Say, for instance, you are in a room full of people, and someone starts gossiping, ranting about this or that, complaining about anything and everything, and you know – you know – that no matter what you say, however eloquent, you will never change this person’s mind…just walk away. You do not have to be there to hear all of their negativity. Your presence is not necessary. They will rant and complain to anyone! Who says it has to be you anymore?Leave with your sanity intact! Save yourself!
Here’s what you do: Stand up, totally calm, grab your children so they can escape too, and nonchalantly leave the room. Come back only when you know enough time has passed that everyone else in the room has argued ’till they’re blue in the face with the toxic person, to no avail, and the topic has been changed.
Phew! You saved yourself from a toxic encounter!
- Take Yourself Out of the Equation
How about this…There was a huge misunderstanding between you and someone and, had it happened between you and a person capable of having a normal conversation, it would’ve been resolved in a calm, adult conversation. Except this is a toxic person. They do not know how to have a conversation. They only know how to yell, scream, belittle. Nothing is normal about them. Instead of coming to you with the problem, they’ve been gossiping to everyone how you did this and you did that, bad mouthing you to everyone and anyone who will listen. It doesn’t matter if what they say is false or true, take yourself out of the equation.
Don’t play their game. Don’t stoop to their level. Don’t counter act all their assaults. Remove yourself. If need be, say your bit to the toxic person – just the facts – totally calm and firm, and then let it go. You did your part. You’ve cleaned yourself of the misunderstanding. Now, let it go.
Chances are everyone else is just as fed up with this person as you are. Eventually, everyone will see that it’s just another one of this toxic person’s tirades and will start see your wise ways of getting out of the way. They too will remove themselves from this person’s path, seeing how calm and relaxed you are by no longer being involved with this toxic person.
If they don’t, it’s not your problem. Take care of yourself.
- Take Responsibility
For your health! It’s your health. If you don’t take care of yourself, who will? No one. Are you going to continue to let this person shape your life for the worse? Allow yourself to feel the effects of their negativity so much that it is effecting your health? They take and never give.
Who is to blame that this person is still in your life? Them? Nope, sorry folks. It’s no one’s fault but your own. They are always going to do what they do. But what they do to you is up to you. No one else.
If you don’t want to be treated poorly, don’t allow it. Do what you have to do to take control of your life. If that means no longer engaging someone in a conversation because you know it’s going to turn sour, then don’t!
If you know that just by being around a certain toxic person brings you down and causes you to feel horrible for days, weeks later, then limit or restrict your contact with that person.
You are in charge of your life, of you. Don’t let others bring you down. You have to take care of your health so that you can take care of all the other things and people in your life you are responsible for.
I know this is the hardest one to swallow, but it’s true. Just think about it. You are in charge of you. You need to take care of you. You. You. You!
If you have any of your own ideas and tips, please share! We can all use additional tools in our arsenal against our toxic common enemies…
That said, here’s to taking great care of ourselves and removing toxins from our life!"
Great article, Lia! Can you use some of these strategies in your life? I hope that this information has been helpful.
To a wonderful week!
Jodi Truscott
